Please Excuse Our Children
by Checkmating-in-the-Bed
Summary: Even by having the Schnee name doesn't mean that you are perfect, we all make mistakes. We can all imagine the Belladonna-Schnee family in their daily lives, but what about at night? Inspired by Dashingicecream, Noxypep, Merry, and other Submissions about the Snow Cubs. Monochrome / Checkmating


**I had this idea a while back, and I just had to use it. I couldn't help it. Much love to Dashingicecream for her adorable Snow Cubs that led up to me remembering this idea. But yes, I finally joined the rank of those who have written Weiss and Blake with their family.**

* * *

"Licht, Licht!" The older twin furiously rocked his younger brother's body, desperately waking him up.

"What is it, you dolt?!" He grumbled with annoyance, sitting up straight while he pushed away his panicked kitten Faunus twin with a hand on his shivering shoulder, "If this is one of your ridiculous puny bad dreams, then get your stuffed animal. You don't have to alarm me when y-"

"It's mommy, she's in trouble!" Lumi blurted out as he closed his fist and shooked them up and down with a pair of white cat ears perked up.

"I beg your pardon?" Licht raised his eyebrow, pulling his covers away from him. His older brother climbed to his bed, starting to discuss with each other and finding a solution for their mother's problem.

* * *

The squad car radio crackled loudly with the relaying of various messages. Inspector Vasilias of the Vale Metro Force kept one ear on the radio, but overall he really wasn't paying attention.

It did, however, catch his attention when his duty phone rang. That wasn't something to be ignored. He fished it out with one hand, keeping the other firmly on the steering wheel, and answered. "Vasilias, Sir."

"Inspector."

"Ayana?"

"We just got a call from a little boy who said that Daddy was killing Mommy, send the police," the officer said, but there was a little bit of something in his tone that made Vasilias pause.

The Inspector frowned. "…there's something you're not telling me."

"Well, the call sound familiar and they referred to you as well."

"Let me guess "Uncle Neppy"?" Vasilias pinched his nose, startled. The only children who had given him a such nickname as that would be from was the Belladonna-Schnee family. Most likely the Twins caused quite a stir, but very unique mischief kittens. The proud, doting parents had been fairly mum about that particular issue, but they had both jumped into their new roles with enthusiasm, and the six of them had always seemed like a happy, tight-knit young family.

"Yes, Sir," Sage repeated. "I don't know. All I could get out of him was that Daddy was killing Mommy, send help." The officer sighed. "You know the family. I thought it would be best to send someone who knows them, because something about this doesn't seem right."

Vasilias sighed. "I'll head over there. Thanks for the call." He hung up and now completely ignoring the radio, turned the car onto an intersecting street, making a beeline for the Belladonna-Schnee mansion. He'd been there many times, but never for anything like this.

Vaguely, he wondered if all those crimes from the White Fang were finally getting to Blake…

Well, he would find out when he got there.

* * *

 **Twenty minutes later…**

* * *

It took four tries at ringing the bell before he got a slurred "Huh?" over the intercom. In spite of its recently-acquired qualities, he recognized it as Blake and smiled in spite of a potentially bad situation. The young woman was decidedly not a morning person. "Blake, it's Neptune."

There was some mumbling that sounded suspiciously like, "What the hell…" but a moment later the door opened, and a tired-looking black-haired Huntress appeared in the doorway. Clad in black yukata with hair that officially defied all laws of gravity, she peered at the Inspector with half-open eyes and her Faunus ears twitched. After all, it was going on two in the morning. "Neptune, what's going on?"

"We got a call from your house," He replied. "Just wanted to see what was going on."

"A call?" Blake was still trying to wake up. "What about?"

"Well…" at this point, Neptune shifted uncomfortably. "The call was from—"

"I called you!" Licht appeared, poking his head out from behind his father's leg. "I called!"

"Licht?" Blake frowned in confusion. "Why did you call the police?"

"Because you were killing Mommy! And when you see bad stuff, you're s'posed to call the police!" another little boy said tearfully, pointing an accusatory finger up at his now-bewildered father. "I heard you! You killed Mommy!"

Vasilias looked down at the monochrome-haired twins, then up at his longtime friend from Beacon.

Blake stared at her sons long and hard before turning and hollering back into the house, "Hey, Weiss? Can you come down here for a minute?" Then she turned back to the Inspector. "I'm really sorry you came all the way out here, I really don't—"

"Blake?" Weiss appeared in the doorway behind her husband, yawning as she tied the knot on her bathrobe sash. "What's going on? Neptune, what are you doing here?"

"Mommy!" The two boys cried in union, throwing themselves at their mother's legs. "Mommy, you're not dead! Daddy didn't kill you!" Lumi clung to her bathrobe-clad legs with all the desperation and possessiveness a five-year-old could possibly muster.

Now it was Weiss' turn to look lost. "Killed me…Boys?" She gave Blake and Neptune a Look. "What in the world is going on here?" She was being a bit harsh, but she had just been hauled out of her nice, warm, comfy bed to the front door under extremely questionable circumstances. She wanted an explanation so she could go back to bed.

"Is there something wrong?" A gray-haired girl in plaid purple pajamas walked towards them on hand with a half-lidded little white-haired girl in her white night gown. The youngest daughter released Grace's hand after she saw her mother, raising her arms open wide. Weiss instinctually lifted her cub into her arms, as Harmony snuggled to her mother's crook of her neck and closed her eyes.

Blake took a deep breath and let her intelligent side come to the front. She bent down and put her hands on her knees to look her cubs in the face. "Boys, you need to tell us a few things, okay?" she said calmly, years of experience at questioning come to the fore. "Now, you said you called uncle Neptune because you thought I was killing your mother?" The last was said with a touch of disbelief.

Still clutching at his mother's knees, the little boys looked each other before nodding grimly.

"Why did you think that?" Blake prodded.

"Because I heard it!" Lumi replied tearfully.

"What did you hear?" Blake asked. Great Detective or not, it was late, she was extremely tired, and she had just been woken up to a most bizarre situation. Her mind wasn't quite there yet. And besides, everyone has their off-days.

"I was gonna ask if I could sleep with you and Mommy 'cause I was scared," the little boy said, obviously confused. "But your door was shut and I heard Mommy and she was making lotsa noises and breathing hard like when I run too much and she sounded like she hurt herself! And then she screamed and it went really quiet. And she kept saying 'Oh God, oh God.'" He looked up at his mother curiously. "Were you praying for help, Mommy?"

There was a pause.

Then the penny dropped, and everyone was suddenly wide awake as it clicked.

Weiss, still standing with her children clutching at her legs while Harmony opened her eyes looked around confused on her mother's shoulder and returned back to her mother's neck. The flustered white-haired mother unconsciously reached up with her other hand to further close the V-shaped neckline of her bathrobe. Her eyes were wide, and she was looking everywhere but at the others. She looked mortified.

Blake coughed delicately and straightened back up, her cat ears folded behind for a second after hearing Lumi's point of view. She cleared her throat, and folded one arm across her chest, reaching up with the other to cover her mouth. She had gone quite pale than Weiss' white hair, visible even in the dim light. "Ah…" she began, then paused to clear her throat again, "I'm sorry you had to come all the way out here, Neptune."

He blinked once. Twice. Then he nodded, tipped his hat, and said, "Well, sorry for the intrusion. You folks have a pleasant night." He couldn't quite keep himself from smiling as the faces of the young couple flared with an interesting shade of red that was bright enough to light up the night sky. The portly inspector turned and headed back to his car.

Blake and Weiss watched him retreat, still blushing furiously. Their young sons looking up at them curiously. "What?" the one of the five-year-old boys piped innocently, tugging at his mother's robe. While Grace stood quietly, tired with the bad commotion that had made her get out of bed.

"Lumi, Licht…" Weiss began, then shook her head. "We'll talk about it in the morning." She figured that was at least how long it would take for her to be able to look anyone in the eye. Nodding, her equally-embarrassed husband ushered them both back inside and closed the door.

Had either of them glanced down the walkway before they shut the front door of their house, they would have been treated to the rare sight of Inspector Vasilias sitting in his squad car, laughing his head off.

* * *

 **PS. Ah, a parent's nightmare.**

 **Oh yeah, and random little scene that just wouldn't fit into the actual story, but I had to use it…put Blake, Weiss, Harmony, and all the parentals in one room. Insert one question, shake well, and enjoy…**

* * *

"So," Mrs. Belladonna asked half-teasingly, "when can I expect another little bundle of joy?"

"Mooooother…" Blake half-whined while Weiss lightly chuckled as placed her hand over her mouth.

"Bundle of joy?" Harmony repeated, confused.

"That's sometimes what people call a baby," Mr. Belladonna explained to his granddaughter. "When you were born, everyone called you a little bundle of joy."

"A baby?" the little girl frowned, then nodded that he understood.

"Would you like a another little brother or sister, dear?" Mrs. Belladonna asked, ever the doting grandmother.

The little girl nodded empathically. "One of the kids in my class at preschool just got a little brother. He's all tiny and stuff. And I asked Mommy when I would get a little sibling."

Her grandmother chuckled. "What did Mommy say?"

Harmony replied innocently, "She said I would get one when I started sleeping in my own bed permanently."

* * *

 **Poor Blake. I pick on Weiss too much—time to give her a little bit of her due as well, ya know? And if anyone asks me where the implied kiss was in this chapter…ahem. Read it again more carefully. You'll figure it out (grin). Thanks for reading, all. Much love!**


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